The coronavirus disease (COVID-19) pandemic has affected family life around the world. School & business closures, working remote, physical distancing, Mask wearing—so many changes for everyone, but especially for parents!
1. One-on-one time
Can’t go to work? Schools closed? Worried about money? It is normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed. School shutdown is also a chance to make better relationships with our children and teenagers. One-on-One time is free and fun. It makes children feel loved and secure and shows them that they are important.
a. Set aside time to spend with each child
It can be for just 20 minutes, or longer – it’s up to us. It can be at the same time each day, so children or teenagers can look forward to it.
b. Ask your child what they would like to do
“Choosing’’ builds their self-confidence. If they want to do something that isn’t OK with physical distancing, then this is a chance to talk with them about this.
Ideas with your baby/toddler
Copy their facial expression and sounds.
Sing songs, make music with pots and spoons.
Stack paper cups or learning blocks.
Tell a story, read a book or share pictures.
Ideas with your young child
Read a book or look at pictures.
Go for a walk – outdoors or around the home.
Dance to music or sing songs!
Do a chore together – make cleaning and cooking a game!
Help with school work.
Ideas with your teenager
Talk about something they like: sports, music, celebrities, friends.
Go for a walk – outdoors or around the home.
Exercise together to their favourite music.
Switch off the TV and phone. Listen to them, look at them. Give them your full attention. Have fun!
2. Keeping it positive
It’s hard to feel positive when our kids or teenagers are driving us ‘’up the wall’’. We often end up saying “Stop doing that!”. But children are much more likely to do what we ask if we give them positive instructions and lots of praise for what they do right.
Say the behaviour you want to see
Use positive words when telling your child what to do; like "Please put your clothes away" (instead of "Don’t make a mess").
It’s all in the delivery
Shouting at your child will just make you and them more stressed and angrier. Get your child’s attention by using their name. Speak in a calm voice.
Praise your child when they are behaving well
Try praising your child or teenager for something they have done well. They may not show it, but you’ll see them doing that good thing again. It will also reassure them that you notice and care.
Get real
Can your child do what you are asking them? It is very hard for a child to keep quiet inside for a whole day but maybe they can keep quiet for 15 minutes while you are on a call.
3. Get Structured
COVID-19 has taken away our daily work, home and school routines. This is hard for children, teenagers and for you. Making new routines can help.
Create a flexible but consistent daily routine
Make a schedule for you and your children that has time for structured activities as well as free time. This can help children feel more secure and better behaved.
Children or teenagers can help plan the routine for the day – like making a school timetable. Children will follow this better if they help to make it.
Include exercise in each day - this helps with stress and kids with lots of energy at home.
Teach your child about keeping safe distances
If it is OK, get children outside within the restrictions.
You can also write letters and draw pictures to share with people. Put them up on the internet to see!
You can reassure your children by talking about how you are keeping safe.
Listen to their suggestions and take them seriously.
Make handwashing and hygiene fun
Make a 20-second song for washing hands for young children. Add actions!
Give children points and praise for regular handwashing.
Make a game to see how few times we can touch our faces with a reward for the least number of touches (you can count for each other).
You are a model for your child’s behaviour
If you practice keeping safe distances and hygiene yourself, and treat others with compassion, especially those who are sick or vulnerable – your children and teenagers will learn from you.
At the end of each day, take a minute to think about the day. Tell your child about one positive or fun thing they did. Praise yourself for what you did well today. You are a star!
4. Bad Behaviour
All children misbehave. It is normal when children are tired, hungry, afraid, or learning independence. And they can drive us “nuts’’, when stuck at home.
Redirect
Catch bad behaviour early and redirect your kids’ attention from a bad to a good behaviour.
Stop it before it starts! When they start to get restless, you can distract with something interesting or fun: “Come, let’s go outside for a walk!” Or let’s go to my room/ up the stairs.
Use consequences
Consequences help teach our children responsibility for what they do. They also allow discipline that is controlled. This is more effective than hitting or shouting.
Give your child a choice to follow your instruction before giving them the consequence.
Try to stay calm when giving the consequence.
Make sure you can follow through with the consequence. For example, taking away a teenager’s phone for a week is hard to enforce. Taking it away for one hour is more realistic.
Once the consequence is over, give your child a chance to do something good, and praise them for it.
One-on-One time, praise for being good, and consistent routines will reduce bad behaviour.
Give your children and teens simple jobs with responsibilities. Just make sure it is something they can do. And praise them when they do it!
Take a break
We all need a break sometimes. When your children are asleep, do something fun or relaxing for yourself. Make a list of healthy activities that YOU like to do. You deserve it!
Listen to your kids
Be open and listen to your children. Your children will look to you for support and reassurance. Listen to your children when they share how they are feeling. Accept how they feel and give them comfort.
5. Talk about COVID-19
Be willing to talk. They will already have heard something. Silence and secrets do not protect our children. Honesty and openness do. Think about how much they will understand. You know them best.
Be open and listen
Allow your child to talk freely. Ask them open questions and find out how much they already know.
Be honest
Always answer their questions truthfully. Think about how old your child is and how much they can understand.
Be supportive
Your child may be scared or confused. Give them space to share how they are feeling and let them know you are there for them.
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